Because this exercise is about making the sentence length shorter, just for once there's no need to make the language more everyday. So you won't need the plain English phrasebook.
Quite a lot of this example is explaining what the medical advisor will do. So when you break up the sentences, you will probably find you use 'They' to start at least one or two sentences.
At the start of the second paragraph why do we need to say 'Please be aware that . . . '? If they read what we say, they will obviously 'be aware' of this. So you can save a few words by making the sentence more concise.